someone get that fucking seahorse.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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