how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
