What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
