i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
