just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
