i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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