i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
