so that wasnt chicken after all
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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