News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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