What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
