the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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