therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
