They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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