I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
