before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
