I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
