i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
