It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
