He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
