I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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