dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
