Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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