sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
