i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
