god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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