Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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