she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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