p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
