its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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