problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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