Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
another moral hangover. fuck.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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