They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
