Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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