its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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