Define "chronic" masturbator.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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