i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
