i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
