life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
