The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
