a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im part way to drunk.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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