get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
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