No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
