oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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