we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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