Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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