just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
