Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
