So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
