Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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