i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
