already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
