he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
