I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
