i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
